So Ellie created her flat Stanley and decided to send him to Connecticut to one of her favorite people, my girlfriend Laurel. Laurel is so creative and fun that I knew she would jump at the chance to do exciting things with Stanley and share that adventure with Ellie. And she definitely did. She mailed a great set of photos with Stanley having all wonderful New England adventures. Ellie was very thrilled to bring the report back to school.
My first warning should have been when we had a fire in the fire pit his first night here. What a pyro!! He kept taunting us, getting really close to the fire and threatening to put his hand in it. I could not even imagine trying to explain to poor Ellie that he had burned himself up...intentionally!!
The next day, when I brought Flat Stanley to work, I had to really keep and eye on him. At one point he disappeared and after looking ALL OVER for him, I found him in the back alley with the smokers, just puffing away. He had already gone through a whole pack of cigarettes - he just kept bumming them off of people. Man, did he reek of smoke for the rest of the day. I had to hose him down with Glade when we got home. Even after that he would sneak up on the cats and make them sneeze with the strong odor of Glade that followed him around.
The last straw was when he stole the neighbor's car one night and went joy riding. Unfortunately the cops caught up with him and threw him in the slammer. We let him stay the night in jail with hope it would teach him a lesson. When we went to bail him out the next day, he was in the jail yard yelling sarcastically at us from behind the bars, mad as hell that we left him there as long as we did.
I was all too happy to send him on his merry way. I just wanted you to know the real Flat Stanley so you could monitor him around Ellie. She is so sweet and I would hate for him to be a bad influence on her. Just be careful.
By the way, he also eats out of the litter box....