Sunday, July 26, 2009

Hostage Situation

Last night around 9:30 I was in my office organizing some work things when in burst two hooded thugs. They were brandishing a weapon and wore dark glasses. The littler one of the two had a Little Tykes pet carrier and inside was my sweet Kanye. He peered out from the slats and even offered up a paw. I just got a quick look and the little one said "that's enough of a look, we have your cat and you now have to pay!" The bigger one, the brains of the operation, had the weapon directed at my face and yelled "Give us one million dollars or you will never see your baby again!" In fear of my own life but not so much Kanye; he does after all, scratch my furniture and scale the tops of my window treatments, I wrote out a check for a million dollars.

After the two kidnappers had my money, they shot me and ran out the door laughing. I managed to survive and surveillance video was able to capture images of these two dangerous bandits. They seemed to be wearing a clever disguise of pajamas. The little one was sporting a Cinderella outfit and the other one some Hollister bottoms. They wore dark glasses and hats. If you should recognize either one of these individuals, do not attempt to make contact, they are very dangerous. Please just call the police and the task force that has been established. They are on the run and they still have Patty Hearst Kanye as a hostage.