Friday, July 17, 2009

Goodbye, Adios, Ciao, Au Revoir!

I am so glad this week in winding down to an end. Although, it doesn't seem to be ending on a quiet note. I am listening to the weather update and we are in for some severe thunderstorms in about an hour. There is currently a tornado warning for counties east of here but hopefully we won't have that type of craziness around here. Living in Virginia is the first time we have lived without a basement. Our go to tornado worthy room is our central bathroom located on the first floor. Once the girls, 5 cats and a dog are in there, there is no room for mom or dad. Our immediate neighbor does have a basement so perhaps there would be time to make a mad dash over there leaving the animals in the bathroom. I don't think Tucker would enjoy that too much though. Here's to a little lightening and some rumbles and that's it. The rain would be nice to cool things off. It's been hot.

So this week was a bit brutal. Wendy's wake and funeral were Monday and Tuesday of this week. So. Very. Emotional. I had a personal release of tears that probably needed to fall for a while. I haven't had a good cry in months and with all that we have been through the last year and a half, I am sure that a good part of those tears were due to our own journey. Happy tears, sad tears, tears of anger, tears of blessings. The celebration of life service was really wonderful and Wendy's eulogy was inspiring and a true testimony to her life. It made me think of when my time here ends, what would people say about me and the life I led and the things I have accomplished. Made me realize there was a lot still to do. Of course, Jesus was the main focus of the day and through Him we can endure this pain and to let the tears come and feel all the emotions but while we do this we need to continue to worship the Lord and what He has done for us and how because of Him Wendy lives on. All very true. Steve was an honorary pall bearer as were some of our other neighbors and the letter I wrote regarding what Wendy meant to me was read. I was honored to have Mike, my neighbor and Wendy's brother-in-law, read my words to the congregation. I know Wendy would have liked it. I am going to miss her.

Ellie finished another week of summer school. Today she met with her reading specialist. They meet every Friday and this was our second session. I know there will be roadblocks in the future regarding Ellie's education. She has had so much damaging radiation to her brain and spine. She has received a life time dose of radiation. There will most likely never be a time when she can have radiation therapy again should the need arise. The radiation, although much more reformed from years past, is still harmful to her brain. She will definitely have cognitive loss. It's all a big trade off. Cancer forces you to make decisions that inevitably will take away some quality of life. Life. Ellie is still alive. The trade off for radiation and chemotherapy is our daughter's life. So she may not be going to Harvard and pursuing a career as a astrophysicist, that's OK. She will find her way. We will continue to bring in specialists and give her the additional boost of educational guidance that she needs. She is on target right now for her age group but I know the future will be challenging. She has a fabulous memory and can remember things I have long forgotten and she picks up the lyrics to songs in a flash. I know she can do it. I will continue to pray as well, I know God can help her through the challenges she may face in the future.

I haven't shared too many photos of Kanye lately. He is still crazy but calming down just a smidge. He is growing up and getting bigger. He still attacks toes from under the bed, climbs into the refrigerator, scales my window treatments and is afraid of Tucker but he is starting to purr more and snuggle. He does love to wrestle with the other cats though. It's really relentless and I think they all end up running away from him at some point. It's great fun for us to watch though.

Kanye lying on my office desk in my studio this morning.