Friday, January 1, 2010

It’s a New Year!


Another year has come and gone. A year that we were so grateful to have with our girls. Another year that cancer stayed away and that my friends makes it a fabulous year!. We prayed last night for a healthy 2010 for all of us, especially Ellie. We will get on with the daily living of life and continue to appreciate each day. We are so thankful.

We had a pretty amazing 2009. We saw the face of Jesus and felt His presence so deeply. He gave us a miracle for Ellie on that day in early May when that concerning tumor that had imaged up for cancer on the PET scan and on the MRI just a day earlier was gone. All Dr. Boop saw in that area when he opened Ellie up was healthy brain. No scientific explanation but those that believe know that God can do anything if it is part of His will. I truly believe Ellie will stay cancer free and as we say every day, ‘God did not create cancer and it has no place in my body’. Thank you Jesus for your healing and for the peace that only you can provide. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

Sadly we also experienced a year of heart breaking losses. Many friends that we have made over the last two years went to heaven. If we did not have our new and strong faith in God, we would be consumed with anger and bitterness. But I know in my heart where everyone went. It is a truth I am so very grateful to have. It brings great comfort when the heaviness of missing and longing and questioning begins. I realized this year that there are things I have no control over and that difficult turns in the road of life are going to be a reality. What I do have control over is how I handle these turns, the ones that I cannot control. Asking God for guidance and for strength and for a positive outcome and relying on myself as well to find the positive is how I make it through. I had a great deal of guilt over the year as well. With so many children passing away and Ellie seemingly beating her cancer, I questioned why. I cannot question why. I just need to be thankful and trust. I found a quote that puts it all into the right perspective - "Inside the will of God there is no failure. Outside the will of God there is no success." Again, I have learned to let go of the control and I try each day to accept and appreciate that day…not to look into the future and worry about what could be. It’s a lesson I have to keep teaching myself but I understand that this is the only way. For all those that passed onto the next life, we will never forget you. You have helped us to see the light.

We had a lot of fun over the last year too. We visited Disney World, spent time frolicking on the beach in Cape Cod, explored underground caverns and saw bears, birds, deer and new life around each corner in the mountains of Virginia. We splashed in the waters of VA Beach and visited friends and family in Connecticut and South Carolina. We walked the city streets of New York all decorated for Christmas and visited our home away from home in Memphis. We went to concerts, movies, and school functions. We continued to support St. Jude and raise awareness for pediatric cancer. We adopted a new kitten that we all fell in love with. We enjoyed nature everywhere we went. We saw Emma’s braces come off after several years revealing a beautiful smile. We witnessed Ellie bounce back from the harsh cancer treatments her body endured. We were grateful for the continued advancement of our careers and and for coming home to a supportive community of friends. We spent time at home and loved being here. We laughed a lot, prayed more and shed tears for our pain and the pain of others. That all sums up living and boy are we glad to be in the game of life. 2010 we are ready for you. One day at a time.