Random Advice

I have some rather random advice this morning. The first is to remind everyone to check their 'junk mail' folder in their email programs. I am constantly fishing important, non-junk, "this should be in my inbox" email out of there. I am still a novice in the Microsoft Outlook world so I have to check the filter presets to see if I can avoid some of the good stuff getting tossed into the rejected junk pile. I also seem to be having an issue with attaching files in Outlook. I have researched this and my problem does not seem to be a known issue so there is no fix. It's a sad day when google cannot give me an answer. Any suggestions?

Next I was thinking about that poor woman in VA Beach that drown on the 4th of July. Why did we witness her drowning? I am sure it was to pray for her, as that was the most important element of support we could offer as she left this world destined for another place. But I also learned about Riptides and how common and deadly they can be. I thought some of you may be like me and not understand them fully so I thought I would share what I learned and just maybe if you are caught in a riptide, this bit of information may help.

First I learned that riptides are strong currents. They are narrow channels of water that run perpendicular to the coast. They occur when there are changes in the sand and direction of the waves and it's similar to a traffic jam of water. The water is contained until it builds up so much that a small break occurs and all that bottled up water flows out to sea very quickly. You can be in this narrow channel and get pushed back from the shore very quickly. How scary is that! I have never been in a riptide current but I understand the panic. Panic. That is what causes most of the deaths in a riptide. Here is what you are suppose to do if you find yourself in a riptide. Don't panic. Easier said than done but try to stay calm. You will not be able to swim toward the shore while you are in a rip current. You can only try to swim out of the riptide's narrow channel. Swim parallel or alongside the shore. In a few strokes you should be out of the riptide's pull and can then swim back to the beach. If you cannot swim well, the experts suggest floating on your back and letting the current take you. The riptides don't last too long and you will soon be out of it and can swim back or wait for help.

JUST DON'T PANIC! Talk to God, to yourself, take a deep breath, whatever you do to calm down. You will survive if you can do this. What scared me the most about riptides is that they can come really close to the shoreline. If you are waist deep in water, say boogie boarding with your daughter, then you can experience a riptide. Emma now knows what to do if she is caught in a riptide. I pray that should she experience this she will be calm. That truly is the most important thing to remember. We are headed to Cape Cod in August and I know we enjoy being in the water and it's so important to remember where you are and to respect what the ocean is capable of. I found this site informative as well http://www.eenaproject.com/Website.html

That's all I have for random advice today. This is rather old but made me chuckle when I watched a few months ago. If you haven't seen it. Enjoy! (I love the Sarah Palin spoof - funny!)

Here Comes the Bride

I made a fantastic spaghetti and meatball dinner tonight (compliments of my mother-in-laws recipe). As I gathered the ingredients, I realized that the only tomato paste can I had had an expiration date of October 2007! I know I don't cook much be geesh that was harsh! Thankfully all of my immediate neighbors do cook more than once every 2 years and I was able to score a new can to complete my delicious masterpiece. I think I am in need of a major pantry clean out. Who knows what is lurking in there.

After dinner Steve and I went for a walk. It's so wonderful that Emma is now old enough and mature enough to watch her sister when we need some time. Just 45 minutes, walking together on a summer night can be so reconnecting for us. I am really grateful we have reached this place in parenthood. Half way through our walk the cell phone rang and Emma asked us to please call when we were 2 minutes away. They had a surprise for us.

When we got home, we learned we were going to be guests at a wedding. The wedding of our daughter Ellie to her beloved Kanye. Emma hit play on the laptop and the wedding march began playing and from the dining room a beautiful bride slowly made her way into the family room. After the service, the bride threw her flowers in the air and danced around. It was a beautiful event. She did marry a cat but we don't have too many boys in our household. We already have the wedding photos back. Please enjoy!

The Bride wore a beautiful floor length gown

The bride, groom and maid of honor/wedding planner

Here she is right before the ceremonial tossing of the bouquet.

Euphoric and proud emotions overflow
after the flowers are thrown

Ellie and Kanye the happy couple

Ellie with the best wedding planner ever, Emma

finding the good

Ho Hum... if this is an accurate state of being then that is how I feel. There is such good in our lives but such sorrow lately too. I will be 40 years old on August 14th. 40. I have to say it again because sometimes that number doesn't seem real. I like getting older and truth be told, every year gets better and I have more connections with life and with who I want to be. I like going forward and it's just a number, the number 40. It really means nothing but because I don't think about it too much when I do say how old I will be, I catch myself off guard. But this isn't a rant about age, what I wanted to say was that in my 40 years on this planet, not many of them have had to deal with death and the loss of loved ones. I can count the passing of a handful of people that dramatically impacted my life over the last 38 years. Only two were tragic and that was the death of my brother and the death of Steven's friend Keith. They both were too young to leave this earth and the possibilities of what could have been in their lives was emotionally devastating. So much they never got to experience here. The others were equally sad but at least these people were much older and had life experiences and their deaths were easier to accept.

Fast forward to January 2008 and the death of my father. The hardest time and concept to accept up until that point in my life. I am sure most children have a very hard time with the loss of a parent, especially when it comes so suddenly. My dad was too young, only 67, and I was not prepared for the loss. I understand why he was taken now and that was to be there for Ellie. This I know with every fiber of my being. With our families entrance into the cancer circle, through Ellie, we have come to know and grieve for many. The first loss that impacted me was that of little Shelbi Martin. I never even met her but I fell in love with her and her family through her parents words and photos. Her story started out so similarly to Ellie's. Same tumor, same treatment, same raw emotions. Her death jolted me hard. Many others followed after Shelbi. Zachary, Caleb, Mary Kate, Catie, Erin and Liam. They were all too young, much younger than Keith and my brother Michael. Yesterday I lost a friend named Wendy. She was Mrs. Weeks daughter and was close to my age. The word lost or loss is repeated over and over and over again and it is a loss, a void, a casualty, a devastation but I have to search for the gain, the achievement, the growth, the positive.

My brother's death shaped the person I was to become. I appreciated life more, I didn't have regrets and I understood how precious and fleeting it all is. That was a pretty good reality check for a 16 year old and that was his life gift to me. I thank him every day for it. My father's gift was to spiritually help me and Ellie on our journey through cancer. He made me stronger and more determined. All of the children that have passed have stayed with me and they remind me to keep fighting and giving back and trying to strive to be better and to love more. They all inspire me. Wendy's death will do the same thing. She has helped me on my journey to Jesus and her confidence never waivered. I will take that as my gift and I will stay true to the Lord and share our story whenever possible.

The last year and half has been so unlike the other 38.5 years of my life. As my girlfriend MaryAnn would say 'Your cup runneth over'. It certainly does. The good and the bad. The love and the heartache, the loss and the gain.

You've got questions... I have answers...

We are having a pretty relaxed week so far. Ellie is back in summer school and Emma has been at the pool every day. Steve headed to Tennessee today for work and I have been working on new designs for Tickle Bellies. July is usually our slowest month for sales so I can get more stuff like this accomplished. Julie has been handling marketing and advertising and we have been brainstorming on some new ideas. I actually sent out my first real email blast for Tickle Bellies. I am excited to start doing more marketing like this. Everything has been on hold for so long and now it is time to start growing the business again. There's some really cute stuff online now and we also have a July special. So check it out if you need some of our fabulous stationery.

I have also been weeding and fertilizing the gardens this week. I think because of all the neglect from being gone last summer the gardens have experienced a surge in weed population. I really cannot recall as many in previous years and I am not happy about it! The biggest weed offender is clover which pulls out super easy but has a really intense root system so even though it looks like you got the whole thing... wrong... more just grows back and with a vengeance. I have been trying to stay on top of it and so far the front garden is the biggest challenge. I may have to recruit help. The gardens look pretty good although at this point in the summer things start to look tired and overgrown. I haven't cut stuff back yet but I know I need to do that in the next few days. The tall garden phlox is blooming this week as are the black eyed susans. I heart black eyed susans. They are one of my favorite flowers. Also thriving in the garden are 4 little blue bird babies. They have about 8 more days in the nest before they fledge. This is the second brood of blue bird chicks in that nesting box this summer. Woo Hoo!

Random photo of Ellie blowing bubbles as Kanye and Phoebe look on

Today in my inbox was one of those 'Get to Know You' emails full of random questions. A friend sent it to me and instead of replying by email I thought I would do it here. So without further adieu here are all of my exciting answers! Did I say they were going to be exciting? Don't hold your breath!

What is your middle name? my middle name is Lynn (never really liked it much too boring)
Who named you? ummm… my parents.
Were you named after someone? I don’t believe so – my parents just wanted a nice Irish name for their sweet Irish baby.
If you had one word to describe yourself , what would you choose? grateful
What is the least favorite thing about yourself? physically, I am not a fan of my nose although over the years, it has grown on me (literally)
emotionally, I tend to get angry too quickly
What Zodiac sign are you?I am a leo
Which is your most recent favorite song?I like Hallelujah by Imogen Heap but it’s not a new song. for a new song… hmmm… I like Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas
What was the last book you read? 'Riven’ by Jerry B Jenkins ‘Cape Cod, Nantucket & Martha’s Vineyard’ – travel book – does that count? I just got a new book for our beach trip which I still haven’t started called ‘The Long Way Home’ cannot recall the author.
What did you have for breakfast today?Special K with strawberries
What did you watch on TV last night? some of the Michael Jackson memorial and Law and Order Criminal Intent (I have a slight crush on Goren)
What is the farthest you have been from home? I tend to stay close to home… Aruba I guess.
Do you have any special talents? I can whistle loudly with my fingers
Have you ever met a famous person? through Ellie we have met a few…. She’s the most famous person I know though.
What kind of people do you like? funny, optimistic, artistic, animal & nature loving
Where do you live? Moseley, Virginia
How long have you lived there? from 2000-2003 and from 2004-present. We spent the missing year in Bel Air Maryland
Who do you live with? my husband Steve, my 2 girls, 1 dog and 5 cats and all the voices in my head. :)
What was your favorite sitcom growing up? I always watched Laverne and Shirley (I loved Boo Boo Kitty the most!)
What is your favorite all time TV show? the x-files - Agent Mulder - need I say more?
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? A customer needing labels
What do you have handy at your bedside? The remote, tissues, bible and little drawings/notes from the girls
What's the color of your bedsheet? satin white (sounds so....but it's really not)
What two movies would you watch over and over? I would watch On Golden Pond and Remember Me
Where have your 3 best vacations been?1. Bar Harbor, Maine 2. Sanibel Island, Florida 3. Honeymoon Cruise to Caribbean
Favorite thing to do in your spare time? photography and bird watching

Virginia Beach

I cannot believe the Fourth of July has come and gone. Life just goes by way too fast. We had a really memorable, fun and quality weekend spent at the beach. Our goal this summer is to have more fun time and less work time and so far we have done a good job at meeting our goal. We left Friday afternoon for the beach. It's normally about 2 hours away but due to the holiday weekend traffic, it took us about 3 hours. Much better than our looong drive home from Connecticut the previous weekend. We were all so excited to head to the beach to get some relaxation from our busy schedule the previous week. We got in around 4pm and headed to an early dinner around 5pm. We always stay at the Oceanfront Sheraton and because it is such a great hotel with good service, we usually prefer to dine right in the hotel. The restaurant has fantastic views of the ocean and we love to look for dolphins while we eat.

Steve and I took the water view side of the table for dinner.
Such beautiful views of our girls and the ocean.

After dinner we headed out for a walk and ended up sitting on the sand for awhile. Steve went and got the beach toys so the girls made castles while we listened to the waves crash. We then headed back to our room to change so we could walk down Atlantic Avenue for some ice cream. Before we headed out Steve decided to rest while the girls and I sat on the balcony watching all the people below. It was about 8 pm but there was still people out enjoying the nice evening. All of a sudden we heard screams that were alarming. There was a woman on the beach screaming for help. Since we were up 10 stories we could see everything. Steve came out and we watched as a lifeguard ran from quite a ways down the beach. Two beach goers jumped into the water as well. They swam to three individuals that were pretty far out but not that far that I would be concerned. They looked to be stuck in the riptide and were panicking. We had our binoculars and I put the 200mm lens on the camera to document what was happening. That first lifeguard was such a hero. He dove in and had to rescue two grown men. I have one photo of the lifeguard with the first man and all you can see of the second man is his hands above the water. He is totally submerged. He managed to pull them both out. The other girl that was in trouble was able to make it out of the riptide and to shore on her own. We all thought it was over and were thanking God when the screaming started again. There was someone missing. More lifeguards and police had arrived and the lifeguards formed a line and went back in searching for the missing swimmer. Our hearts sank. I had never even seen this other swimmer, just the three that made it out. We prayed that her body would rise up and they could revive her. It was very, very hard to watch this but I felt we needed to stay and not turn away and offer our prayers.

Unfortunately she drown and her body was recovered about 45 minutes later. We were in shock over what we just witnessed. The night we learned of Ellie's brain tumor was shocking but she was alive, she was still with us. 16 months later, she is still with us. I cannot fathom the sudden death of a loved one. I've lived through it with my brother but I was just 16 at the time and truth be told, I was more concerned with my parents and how hard it was for them that I don't think I properly mourned his death at that time. Now, looking at things as an adult and a parent, I cannot imagine having someone be there one moment and gone the next. That is total devastation. Only God and your faith can get you through something like this. I have some of the rescue photos on my flickr account. I did not post any of the swimmers that were in danger - just of the response from the emergency personnel.

Steve and I ready to greet a new day!

The next day was a brand new day and we were able to put a lot of the previous night's sadness out of the way. We ended up having such a fun time. We started off at the beach. Emma and I boogie boarded... yes... I boogie boarded. I am sure it wasn't pretty but boy was it fun. Virginia Beach has a lot of high waves and we certainly did enjoy playing in them. Ellie is not a big fan of the ocean (Thank God!) because the crashing waves scare her. She was more than happy to sit and make sand castles. She made a little friend named Henry and they played for quite a long time. We decided to have lunch and cocktails at the pool and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon poolside.

Ellie loves to play in the sand.

Ellie and her little friend Henry

Boogie Boarding Emma

Steve enjoying the rays and the surf

The girls hang out in the shallow end of the pool.

We headed out to dinner and then walked a bit before the fireworks. The entire beach area was packed with thousands of people. I was so grateful all we had to do was go back to our room and watch from the comfort of our balcony. No lines, no traffic. It was perfect. The view did not disappoint nor did the fireworks. It was a really wonderful day and to be together to enjoy it was the best part. I am so proud of Ellie and all that she has endured to make it to this place. She deserves to have a lot of fun this summer and so far she is. I have many more photos on the flickr account of our weekend.

It was a great ending to our day!

Connecticut ~ Day 4

When on vacation driving offers such flexibility because you are adhering to your own schedule and you can pack the van full of all sorts of things that you probably will never need. I admit that I am an overpacker but I am so thrilled when someone needs some obscure item and they don't think it was packed and viola, I can pull it out from somewhere. The last few flights we have taken have also been delayed for hours and that to me is more annoying then anything. At least if I am driving and I am stuck in traffic, I am still in control. I can get off the exit and get out of the car, eat, stretch, whatever. On our last flight to Memphis, we had to sit on the runway for over an hour. We were prisoners. I don't like being confined. I also enjoy the scenery when driving. People, cars, places - lots to look at. Of course, I am usually not the one driving and when there is lots of traffic while we are on the highway I have a tendency to use the invisible brake on the passengers side or I sometimes like to offer helpful driving advice. For the most part, Steven doesn't think of it as helpful advice. Even with that, driving is still a better option if you're headed to a destination that isn't more than say, 12 hours away. We will pack up the van again tomorrow morning and head East to Virginia Beach. This ride is usually just around 2 hours. The length of one movie. Going down over the 4th of July weekend may add an extra hour though. We are staying at the hotel we always stay at and love - the Sheraton - which is right on the water. They have the best pool that we all love and the water views are fabulous. The weather looks great too. Sunny with no chance for rain, temps in the high 80s.

Here's a photo of the girls from the Summer of 2007
in the Sheraton Pool at VA Beach

The last day of our visit to CT was very nice. I got up early to have breakfast with Laurel and our girlfriend MaryAnn. They are two dear friends and I love when we can all get together. We went to MaryAnn's house after breakfast to look at their perennial garden. This garden is over 20 years old. I love to check in with it every few years. It never disappoints and is so lovingly cared for. I have a few photos but the sun was out and it was really too bright to get anything that wasn't overexposed.

Beautiful shades of pink on this Yarrow. I loved it.

FeverFew flowers. These have been in the garden for a really long time.

MaryAnn, me and Laurel. We have been friends for years.

After our wonderful visit with MaryAnn, Laurel and I drove back to Windsor where we found a hammock lounging Emma in Laurel's yard. She has such a tough life this one.

We soon headed to Watertown to see Steven's Aunt Ann and Aunt Joan. They wanted to have a little get together for us. The word little was lost on Aunt Joan as I saw tents and people and lots and lots of food set up. It was a really special day and Steve and I got to thank even more family that we don't see often for their role in helping heal Ellie. The girls have so many cousins that love her and it was very moving to see her playing and running and just being a kid. Steve's cousin Debbie owns a bounce house and Ellie hasn't been allowed to go in one since she was diagnosed. I let her go in this one and she loved it. The bounce house was the main hang out for all the kids. Ellie's cousin Gianna was so excited to see her and they played all afternoon together.

I was so happy that Steve was able to spend quality time with cousins he doesn't get to see that often; cousins he grew up with. Ricky, Karen, Bobby, Cheryl, Maureen, Frank, Lisa, and Debbie. They are all in their late 30s and 40s with their own kids now but they all cared so deeply for Ellie and our journey. We received much love and support. Steve and I also slipped away for a bit to go to the final resting place of Steve's grandmother. Grandma Brown passed away last July and we thank her all the time for being an angel that has helped pull Ellie through during this time. She loved her grandchildren and great grandchildren. If I can remember correctly, she had 54 great grandchildren when she passed. Can you imagine that! She had Ellie on her mind the last few days of her life and I am so grateful that she is in heaven with her children that passed before her and she is there as a divine presence for Ellie.

We had a wonderful day and it was a nice ending to our trip. I forgot to mention that we got to meet Mrs. Rowan who is a first grade teacher in Watertown, she was at the party too. She and her students were penpals with Ellie and they had this really neat board established with photos and such. It was an honor to meet her and thank her for making Ellie feel so special. There are just so many people that care. Life is good and we are blessed. Very blessed.

Aunt Ann had this cake made. Ellie was so excited to eat her face.

The girls pose with Mrs. Rowan. She was so sweet.
Steve is in the back behind the gazebo catching up with his cousin Ricky.

The whole gang. This is a great keepsake from our day.
You really need to click on it to view in larger format so you can see everyone.
Uncle Frank is missing from this one. :(

Ellie and her cousin Gianna. They were so cute together.

Hey... Macarena! Ellie gives Aunt Joan some dance tips.

Nothing beats a game of 'duck...duck... goose' in the bounce house
to get the party started.

Connecticut ~ Day 3

We were able to sleep in on day three of our trip. Laurel and Tony head off to work pretty early each morning and that allows us have the run of the place. They are such amazing hosts and made sure we had a stocked pantry and fridge with all of our favorite things. Laurel even got us salt water taffy to get us in the mood for our Cape Cod trip in August. Isn't that thoughtful?! There's no better feeling than staying with friends who truly want you to treat their home as your own. So we enjoyed a relaxed morning and then we headed off to see my niece Amanda. She has a sweet little girl named Aerianna. Aerianna is about 14 months old and has the curliest eyelashes I have ever seen. Upon entering Amanda's home, I was shocked by the amount of toys Aerianna has and then there she was, plopped down right in the middle, playing and talking to each one. So cute. This is our second time getting to visit Aerianna and she is really precious. Just look at that face!

You can see her curly eyelashes in this photo and what
truly cracks me up is Emma's face in the background. I have no idea
what she is doing.

I had to go to the car to get something and when I returned,
all three were waiting eagerly by the baby gate.

It was good to see them and we all wish Jeremy, Amanda and baby Aerianna the best of luck and we hope to see them around the holidays. Before we left, the girls noticed a dartboard. It was magnetic so there was no real danger of losing an eye. They are such pranksters, those silly girls.

After our visit we headed to Southington, CT to see our good friends the Kubecks/Vitcavages. They are yet another family we have claimed as our own. Mr. and Mrs. Kubeck have known Steve for most of his life. Keith, their oldest son, and Steve grew up together and were very close.

Keith passed away 12 years ago from liver cancer. It was very sudden and heartbreaking. He was only 30 years old. Stacy, Keith's wife, had their daughter Jessica 6 weeks before I gave birth to Emma. Jessie never got to know her dad. He passed a few weeks before her first birthday. Keith's death was one of our lives biggest sorrows and we miss him and think about him all of the time. Steven was there when he passed and I know he is so grateful to have been present and we know Uncle Keith was another angel that helped Ellie get through her cancer. The Kubecks have always treated Steve like a son and if we don't visit with them while we are in CT, our trip just isn't complete. Emma and Jessica always quickly connect and the two of them are just so beautiful. I was too busy catching up and chatting that I totally forgot to take photos of the two of them together. (kicking myself). Aside from the catching up I was busy watching the TORNADO that was going on outside. It was some wild weather that blew through. It got dark, rainy and then the hail started to fall. A tornado did touch down to the east of us in Wethersfield. Thankfully all the kids were in the basement playing drums and guitar hero so they missed most of the excitement which is probably for the best. Emma tends to freak out during thunder storms.

We were in Southington (left of map)... see all the red.

It was a great night to socialize and to share more of what our lives have been like the last year. Keith's brother Eric and sister Sue and their amazing spouses are so good to talk to. The whole family is just so supportive and we love them all dearly. Spending time with them was one of our trip highlights.

Steve, Ed(Mr. Kubeck) and Eric

Sue and Colleen

Emma and Ellie with Sue and Joe's kids, Andrew and Eddie

The last day of our visit is coming up quickly. We always love to go back home but the time slips by so quickly and we have people and places left unchecked on our list of things we wanted to accomplish. Friends and family have always been important to us but we value things so differently now. Each day needs to mean something and being able to spend quality time is so crucial. There may not be a tomorrow. OK... that sounds way dramatic but you know what I mean.